Saturday, November 21, 2009

The BADDEST ASS LIEUTENANT by Abel Ferrera



Lived by Harvey Kietel



Check out the awesome trailer. Hint : foxfaith films??








 INT: LATE NIGHT - THE NUN'S HOSPITAL EXAMINING ROOM

               From just outside the door, LT peep-toms on the NUN while 
               she is being examined. He sees her stark naked, laid out on 
               a table, her legs spread wide apart.

               The DOCTORS, NURSES, COUNSELORS work on the NUN as if they 
               are automatons. They don't grasp either the humanity or the 
               trotitism of the scene. LT does. The image of The Alabaster 
               Nun turns him on no end. Yet there is also a deeper pathos 
               to the scene.

               And the NUN is spectacularly beautiful. She doesn't speak. 
               Looks like a Pieta.

               A DOCTOR in a WHITE-COAT reads the MEDICAL REPORT to a FEMALE 
               COP. The FEMALE COP writes down the details on a hard-backed 
               pad. As if it's a parking ticket.

               The moving contrast between the words and the image seems to 
               be apparent to LT -- and the NUN -- alone.

                                     DOCTOR
                              (to Female Cop)
                         They inserted a crucifix eleven 
                         centimeters into her vaginal aperture, 
                         breaking the hymen membrane. Then 
                         they pursued the same course with 
                         their natural organs of sexual 
                         penetration. They used a sharp object, 
                         probably a hunting knife with a curved 
                         blade, to carve a cross between her 
                         shoulder blades, entering the flesh 
                         an average of nearly one centimeter 
                         throughout the area of the wound. 
                         They --

               Finally, as if she knew he was there all along, the NUN looks 
               up at where LT is hiding and boldly meets his eyes.

                                                                    CUT TO:

               INT: VERY LATE NIGHT - ARIANE'S APARTMENT

               LT has been there for some time. They are alone. They've 
               both been DRINKING and COKING.

               LT is carrying on about the NUN. As he speaks about various 
               subjects, his tone changes radically. From contempt and 
               cynicism to profound reverence. From decadence -- to awe. 
               ARIANE, too, manages to switch from one attitude to the other.

                                     LT
                         Have you ever seen a naked nun? I 
                         tell you, man, I went to school with 
                         the nuns, I've seen hundreds since 
                         then and I've never even seen a nun's 
                         belly button, you understand? But 
                         this nun, let me tell you. What a 
                         beautiful lady...
                              (snaps out of his awe)
                         And where'd the Church get the 50 G 
                         in the first place? The fucking Church 
                         is the biggest scam going. You know 
                         what's the real killer? It costs 
                         $8,000 per kid for them to go to 
                         parochial school. I've got three 
                         kids in there already, with two on 
                         the way! Christ. That fucking reward 
                         is my money, man! But that's Church 
                         policy. The Pope is the world's 
                         biggest bookie. Makes people bet on 
                         their own salvation! Double or nothing 
                         on Heaven. You go to Hell -- then go 
                         to Hell. In the beginning was the 
                         Word, and the Word was bullshit.

               ARIANE can't stop thinking about the rape.

                                     ARIANE
                         I can't get over what those guys did 
                         to her. I just can't.

                                     LT
                         They're alive, aren't they? Come on, 
                         man! Everyone's making such a fucking 
                         fuss, just because she's a nun. Just 
                         because she wears a penguin suit, 
                         the church puts up 50 G for the guys 
                         who dared to rape her. Do you think 
                         they'd put up a dime if you got raped? 
                         Of course not. Or even for your little 
                         sister? The virgin? Like shit they 
                         would.

                                     ARIANE
                         Susie's not a virgin anymore.

                                     LT
                         She's fucking nine years old! Jesus 
                         Christ.

               ARIANE suddenly starts up.

                                     ARIANE
                         And the nun's not a virgin anymore, 
                         either. Will they make her leave the 
                         convent?

               LT thinks for a moment.

                                     LT
                         Who knows? Who knows what their policy 
                         is.
                              (sudden dreamy 
                              reverence)
                         But I'll tell you, man, that nun... 
                         She was beautiful. Just beautiful... 
                         Tall... Real tall... I've never seen 
                         anything like it...

               LT snaps out once again, grabs the TELEPHONE. He dials LITE.

               He's not in. LT leaves ARIANE'S NUMBER on LIMELITE'S BEEPER.

               Hangs up.

                                     LT
                              (to himself)
                         Lite, man... Where the fuck are you?

               ARIANE can't get the image of the rape out of her mind.

                                     ARIANE
                         It's horrible. They burned her breasts 
                         with cigarettes. Christ.

                                     LT
                         Yeah? At least she's alive! I see 
                         people get killed every day! Worse 
                         yet, tortured first and then killed! 
                         The nuns got off easy. Jeez. Cigarette 
                         burns. Everyone's all upset about 
                         fucking cigarette burns. I'll show 
                         you cigarette burns!

               LT stubs out his CIGARETTE on the back of his hand. He does 
               the move with intensity and bravado.

               ARIANE responds by calmly doing the same. But she does it 
               entirely impassively, and rubs the CIGARETTE into her flesh 
               longer than LT did.

               ARIANE comes over to LT and starts kissing and licking his 
               CHEST.

                                     ARIANE
                         Do you believe in God? Do you believe 
                         that Jesus Christ is the Son of God?.

               LT hesitates.

               ARIANE kneels down in front of LT. As if in prayer.

               She starts giving him head.

               Before he can answer The Question, he is saved by the bell. 
               The PHONE RINGS. LT picks up immediately. It's LITE.

               As LT speaks to LITE, ARIANE continues to give him head.

                                     LT
                              (to LITE; over the 
                              phone)
                         Yeah, I know, I know all about it. 
                         Enough already about the fucking 
                         nuns. Yeah. Yeah. So just take the 
                         bet. Don't give me any hassles, man. 
                         Just put in my bet. 30 G's. Yeah. 
                         And I got $900 from the cops on 
                         Oakland. Yeah. Right. Strawberry's 
                         gonna knock em dead. Of course he 
                         is! You know that! Yeah. Yeah. Have 
                         faith, man! OK. Right.

               LT hangs up, thinks ARIANE won't resurface the God Question.

               ARIANE does, even as she gives him head. Every time she 
               speaks, she pulls away and it frustrates him. This dialectic 
               continues throughout the scene.

                                     ARIANE
                         Do you believe in God?

               LT thinks about it, even as ARIANE gets him hotter and hotter.

                                     LT
                         The Church is a fucking racket. I 
                         know how they operate. I've been 
                         part of the racket since the first 
                         time some faggot priest spilt water 
                         on my head. My Aunt Lu says I was 
                         crying all the way through. Yeah, I 
                         know their game inside out. Now I'm 
                         free of it and I'm gonna stay that 
                         way.

                                     ARIANE
                         I'm not talking about the fucking 
                         Church. Fuck the Church. But tell 
                         me. Do you believe in God?

                                     LT
                         What's to believe?

                                     ARIANE
                         That Jesus Christ was the Son of God 
                         and he came to die for your sins.

               LT can't respond. He's distracted by his own pleasure.

               ARIANE does something OC that causes LT sudden pain.

               LT cries out. Snaps to attention. Looks at ARIANE.

                                     ARIANE
                         Your sins, Lieutenant!
                              (beat)
                         And look around you! Where do you 
                         think all this shit came from?

               ARIANE gives him head again. LT is more excited now than 
               before she hurt him.

                                     LT
                         People.

                                     ARIANE
                         You believe that man is the be-all 
                         and end-all?

                                     LT
                         Yeah.

                                     ARIANE
                         OK. OK. Fine. But -- do you believe 
                         in God?

               As if in answer. LT begins to RECITE THE ACT OF CONTRITION

                                     LT
                         I believe in God the Father Almighty, 
                         Creator of Heaven and Earth...

               This turns on ARIANE. She stops talking. Writhes and grapples 
               him.

               LT is reaching climax. When describing Jesus rising again --

               LT has an orgasm.


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